“Lauren!” Bo pounded on the door of the Doctor’s apartment “I know you’re in there! Open up!”

The blonde shifted slightly on the bed as the hammering on her door brought her back into the conscious world. Hearing Bo’s voice, she pulled the blankets over her head and burrowed into them, tears squeezing from her eyes. “Go away” she whispered, blocking the sounds out to the best of her ability.

“Um...Bo?” 

The Succubus paused in her assault on the door to glare at her companion. “What?”

Kenzi shrugged. “I don’t think she wants to talk to you.” She pointed out, practical for once.

Bo’s eyes flashed. “I. Don’t. Care.” She kicked the door to punctuate the point.

Kenzi sighed, accepting that they weren’t going anywhere until her friend got what she wanted. Pulling a few things from her pocket, she moved towards the door. “Shove over.” She said tiredly.

The retort that was on Bo’s lips as she whirled around died as she saw what was in Kenzi’s hands. “I knew I liked you.” She grinned, moving out of the way.

The smaller girl rolled her eyes, crouching down to insert a couple of picks into the lock. “Well” she commented, “lucky for you, the good doctor has a shitty lock.” She manoeuvred the pieces of metal around skilfully until a click sounded. “There. That should do it.”

Bo grinned again. “Excellent.” She turned the handle and pushed the door inwards. “Lauren?” she called, wandering into the apartment.

Kenzi headed in after her, eyebrows heading into her bangs as she looked around and realised the Doctor actually had decent taste. Rather than following Bo as she charged off into the bedroom, she dropped down onto the couch and picked up one of the magazines on the table, flipping through it idly.

The quiet was short-lived as “What in Hell do you think you’re doing?” Came out of the bedroom followed by Bo being removed bodily from the room by Lauren wrapped in her duvet. “What right do you have to break into my apartment?” the blonde demanded.

Bo looked strangely awkward. “I was worried” she mumbled.

Lauren opened her mouth and shut it, frowning. “Worried.” She re-iterated, disbelief lacing its way into her tone.

Bo threw her hands in the air in exasperation “You’ve been gone for two weeks!” she exclaimed. “Hale and Dyson started talking about consequences and Mesmers...”

“And Hale had to knock her out to stop her from going in after you” Kenzi put in from the couch.

Bo turned to glare at her. “As I recall, you were unconscious at the time.”

Kenzi just shrugged, clearly enjoying herself.

“Two weeks” Lauren murmured. Time had passed strangely in that place, and she couldn’t really remember how long it had been that they’d kept her there, or when they’d returned her.  She felt Bo’s eyes on her and looked up to find the Succubus watching her, something pained and confusing in her expression.  “I dreamed of you” Lauren whispered, thinking back to the feeling of panic as she’d realised she was dying and shivered, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. Bo moved towards her and Lauren threw up a hand to keep her back. “Don’t” she said hoarsely, and then, her voice steadier: “Please don’t touch me.”

Bo nodded silently, though obviously hurt. Behind them on the couch, Kenzi yawned and stood up, bored of watching the scene unfold. “Well, I’m gonna go.”

“’Kay, see you at home.” Bo said absently, still watching the Doctor with a frown on her face. Kenzi rolled her eyes and left, hoping that either Hale or Dyson would be at the bar to entertain her.

“Are you still mad?” Lauren questioned as the door clicked shut behind Kenzi.

“Yes.” Bo admitted, taking a seat on the couch “but I understand, now.”

A harsh laugh escaped the blonde as she fingered the charm around her neck. “Do you”- it wasn’t a question, Bo realised, but blunt statement of the fact that she did not actually understand at all.

She looked up at Lauren, taking in all the pain encompassed in the other woman’s face. “I’m sorry” she burst out rawly.

A ghost of a smile passed over Lauren’s face, and she moved to sit beside Bo on the couch. “I know. I am too.” Slowly, reminding herself that this was not a Mesmer-induced hallucination but real, she tilted her head to lean against Bo’s shoulder. “I thought I was going to die there”, she admitted.

Bo’s hand snuck into hers, and suddenly the Doctor burst into tears, everything from the last two weeks becoming too difficult to handle with the implications of that simple gesture. Bo’s arms wrapped around her and Lauren collapsed into them, unexpectedly desperate for the human contact. “I’m sorry I didn’t come for you” Bo whispered into her hair.

“You wanted to, that’s what matters” Lauren told her. “It’s been a long time since anyone’s cared enough about me to do that.”

Bo squeezed her tighter. “I just wish you’d told me.”

Lauren nodded “Me too”.

“Why didn’t you?” Bo asked curiously.

Lauren examined her, confused. “Isn’t it obvious? I wanted you to like me. I didn’t want to be the embodiment of the lack of freedom you fight so hard against.“ She buried her face in Bo’s shoulder. “I’ll be a slave for as long as I live and after.”

Indignation fluttered across Bo’s face. “I can’t believe I belong to a race that has no problem treating humans as lesser creatures” she grumbled darkly.

“Not all fae do.” Lauren pointed out reasonably, then smothered a yawn. “I’m really sorry, but I need to go back to bed if I’m going to make it into the clinic at some point this week.”

Bo nodded, an embarrassed grin making its way onto her face. “Sorry for breaking into your apartment.”

Lauren chuckled. “In the end, I’m glad you did.”

Bo squeezed her hand gently. “I was really worried, you know.”

Lauren looked down, a blush just visible on her pale skin. “I shouldn’t have lied”

Bo shook her head. “It doesn’t matter”

Lauren stifled another yawn. “I should...” she gestured towards the bedroom before looking down at Bo’s hand in hers. “Would you...?” she trailed off, never quite finishing the question.

Bo smiled. “I’d love to”. She stood, pulling Lauren up off the couch after her. “Perhaps we’d better save ‘Ride the Succubus’ for another night, though.”

“That would probably be prudent.” Lauren agreed, watching fascinated as Bo simply divested herself of clothing between the living room and the bed. “Um, should I guess you don’t want pyjamas?” she questioned weakly.

Bo’s eyes danced from where she sat naked on the bed. “No thanks.”

Lauren rolled her eyes and threw the duvet at her. “Show off.” She muttered.

Bo shrugged. “I’m a Succubus – aren’t I meant to be inherently sexual?” she argued good naturedly.

“Apparently so” Lauren agreed, climbing into the bed beside her.

“Is that your expert opinion, Doctor?” Bo asked in a very seductive tone.

 Lauren flipped over to find the brunette’s face very close to her own. “It is.” She agreed, wondering vaguely where her breath had gone. When Bo’s lips touched hers, the painful clamouring in her mind disappeared for a moment to be replaced with peace and joy. She drew back, surprised. “Do that again.” She whispered. Bo looked confused but brushed her lips against Lauren’s again briefly with the same effect. Lauren practically groaned with relief.

“What am I doing?” Bo questioned.

Lauren smiled. “The sedative effects you have are counteracting the hyperstimulation of my brain by the Mesmer”

“So...”

“So, it gives me a clue. I could counteract the temporary effects chemically. Take meds.” She smiled.

“Or I could just keep on kissing you” Bo suggested.

Lauren chuckled. “As much as I’d enjoy that, I think it would interfere with both of our lives.”

“You’re waaaay to practical for your own good.”

Lauren lay back against the pillows. “It’s possible.” She agreed.

Bo curled up next to her. “Sweet dreams”

“You too” Lauren murmured, reaching for the light.

Unfortunately, it was too much to hope for.

kennedyismyhero

“Where the Hell is Lauren?” Bo burst out as she stormed into the clinic looking like she was about to kill someone.

Dyson and Hale exchanged a look. “Bo...” Dyson started, laying the unconscious Kenzi down on a gurney.

Bo whipped around. “What?! Kenzi’s hurt. Where is she?”

“She failed at a task for the Ash, Bo.” Hale said slowly.

“So?”

“So...Lauren belongs to him. There’ll be...consequences.”

Bo paled slightly as a man wearing scrubs entered the room. “What’s going on?” He demanded.

“She’s with us.” Dyson said by way of explanation, pointing at Kenzi.

The man nodded and walked over to the gurney, examining the small woman.

Bo made her way over to Dyson. “What type of consequences are we talking here?” she questioned quietly, watching the Fae examine Kenzi out of the corner of her eye.

“It depends how important keeping you away from Vex was to him.”

“Well, would he kill her?” Bo demanded, her voice pitching upwards.

Dyson sighed. “Bo. When are you going to start understanding that your being undeclared puts the rest of us in a very dangerous position?” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “No. I don’t think he’d kill her. He’ll just cause her a considerable amount of pain. She’s too useful to him for him to kill her.”

“He’ll hurt her because she couldn’t stop me from confronting Vex?”

“He’ll hurt her for failing to complete her assignment. “ Dyson corrected.

Bo’s eyes squeezed shut. “What’ll he do to her?” She murmured as any anger she’d been feeling towards Lauren for what she’d done flickered and died, leaving only fear to take its place.

Lauren curled in the dark, tears running down her cheeks as she shivered, trying to get warm. She’d only been here once before. She rarely failed, and one experience in this place was more than enough.  She barely had time to wipe a hand across her face before the images descended upon her again. “No” she whispered, fighting as long as she could before falling into the internal world of her mind “Please...”

It was no use.

“Sensory deprivation?” Bo questioned.

Hale nodded. “Complete darkness. No sound except what you create. A tiny room so you can’t move around. And...He uses a Mesmer.”

“A Mesmer” Bo’s tone of voice expressed complete lack of understanding.

Hale looked to Dyson, who sighed. “A Mesmer can gain complete access to your mind and use what’s in it against you. Take bad memories, change memories...Make you relive them. That sort of thing.” He scratched his neck. “Not a pleasant experience. Makes you feel like you’re going crazy.”

Bo’s face drained of all colour as the implication of what Lauren was going through hit her. “I thought you were meant to be the good guys.” She whispered, horrified. “We have to get her out.”

Dyson’s eyes widened. “Go against the Ash?” He shook his head. “No. Not on this Bo. He owns her.”

“No-one owns her” Bo snapped.

Dyson rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

Hale laid a hand on her arm. “I let her rest up for as long as possible.”

Bo glared at him. “You knew this would happen and you let them take her?” her voice was quiet, deadly.

Hale shrugged. “She knew what she was going to. It’s happened before. Why do you think she’s so closed off?”

Anger blazed across Bo’s face. “Fine. I’ll go on my own. Stay with Kenzi.” She turned on her heel, heading for the door.

“Stop her.” Dyson muttered.

Hale sighed, shaking his head, and started to whistle.

Bo whipped around, clapping hands over her ears in an effort to block the sound. “No” she pleaded as her eyes rolled back and she collapsed to the ground.

“She is going to be pissed when she wakes up.” Hale commented.

Dyson grunted “It’s for her own good.” He picked up the fallen Succubus and placed her on a gurney.

“Is it?” Hale questioned under his breath. He suspected otherwise but opted not to comment, instead moving to see how things were going with his human friend.

“How is she?”

The Fae looked up from the stitches he was putting in. “She’ll be fine.” He said by way of explanation.

She was in Bo’s bed, smiling as the other woman moved carefully on top of her. She felt the familiar tingling of pleasure licking at her mind as the brunette’s lips whispered across hers.

“May I?” Bo murmured, her breath raising hairs on Lauren’s naked skin.

“Of course” The Doctor agreed readily.

Bo chuckled, lowering her mouth to Lauren’s, her tongue snaking its way into her mouth.

Bliss descended, and it wasn’t until darkness flickered at the edge of her vision that Lauren realised Bo was sapping her life from her. Panic took over, allowing her to jerk away slightly. Bo grasped her shoulders more tightly, pulling her in physically so she couldn’t escape....

Lauren came to screaming.

Lauren felt the pleasure seeping into her even before her lips reached Bo’s, but once they connected, all she felt was bliss.

Bo pulled back almost immediately, shaking her head. “No. Lauren. What are you doing?”

Guilt washed through the Doctor as she snuck a hand into Bo’s hair. “I...I don’t know. Just let me, okay?” Even so aroused, she knew full well what she was doing. Giving in to her desires, giving in to danger, Giving in to...She was disgusted with herself. Her desire for Bo was so obvious that the Ash could see it and use it against her. She could stop now, find some other way to distract her friend...Her eyes met Bo’s. Almost without her noticing, her lips found the fae’s again. This time Bo relaxed into the kiss. Not enough to loose her power, but enough to enjoy herself. Lauren’s mind spun – pleasure, safety, love...All negative thoughts were blasted from her mind. She was vaguely aware that they were moving towards the bedroom, losing clothing as they went.

Bo ripped the Ash’s symbol from around her neck and Lauren’s heart soared. “No-one owns you”

She was free. Free to pursue love, whatever form it took. Light, Dark, Undeclared, Fae, Human – divisions meant nothing here. The real world seemed so far away.

She woke, naked, cold. Hearing movement she turned to see Bo dressing. Guilt and panic washed through her. “Where are you going?”

Bo turned, a smile lighting up her features as she leaned in for a kiss. There was no pleasure now, just fear. Lauren wanted to cry. “Go back to sleep. I have to go...”

“No!” Lauren winced mentally at how whiney she sounded, how afraid. “No,” she tempered her tone a little, “Please. Stay. Stay with me.”

Bo frowned, confused. “I...” realisation crossed her face. Understanding. “He sent you here.”

Lauren thought her heart was breaking. “Let me explain.” Anger was evident on the Fae’s features. “Please. I haven’t done anything wrong.” She pleaded, almost crying as she held the sheets around herself.

“He sent you here, to my bed. Everything about that is wrong.” Bo stalked away, leaving her.

Lauren tried one more time. “Please, Bo. Vex...”

“You know his name?” Bo spotted the charm on the floor, picked it up, threw it angrily in Lauren’s direction, her disgust plain to see. “Don’t forget your dog collar.”

Lauren watched the necklace fly towards her, landing on the bed with a slight thump. She managed to restrain herself until she heard the door slam downstairs before dissolving into tears in sheets that still smelled like Bo. She didn’t understand how she’d let this happen. She’d promised herself that there were certain things the Ash could never control and she’d been wrong. She’d failed.

Gradually, exhaustedly, she gathered herself up, pulled on clothes crumpled by a night on the floor. All she could do now was to try and salvage the situation, for Bo’s safety and her own. She hoped beyond hope that Dyson was at the bar. She dragged herself down the stairs, admiration for the werewolf at being able to keep this up night after night making its way across her consciousness. At some level she had to respect his stamina, even though he was a total ass.

 

She stumbled into the establishment, too focussed on seeking out Dyson and Kenzi to think about the stares she was raising in her dishevelled state. The Fae were used to seeing the Ash’s Doctor clean and kempt, and she was anything but right now.

She delivered her message and crumpled, Hale guiding her into a chair as the others raced out to find Bo. He shook his head and whistled gently. “Damn, girl.” He murmured under his breath. 

When she woke later, she was in the back room of the bar, and Hale was leafing through some book or another in a chair nearby. “Bo?” she croaked.

Hale put down the book and made his way over. “Bo’s fine.” He sighed. “She sure did a number on you, though.”

“Mmm” Lauren closed her eyes again. “So tired.”

“Yeah. Getting it on with a Succubus will do that to you.” Hale agreed. “I figured I should at least let you get conscious before the Ash busts one on your ass.”

“Thanks” Lauren commented wryly before sleep claimed her again.

Hale settled himself back into the chair to wait. “Hey, I get it. Even if those two don’t.” He murmured to himself as he picked the book back up. He shuddered. “But I doubt you’ll thank me once the Ash gets his hands on you.”

He didn’t want to think about what the Ash would do to the pretty Doctor for failing. As humans went, he was kind of fond of her, just like he was of Kenzi. Lauren was a good person. She didn’t deserve what was coming to her.

In her dreams, Kathryn was in Indiana. Warm grass prickled her back and the wind teased her hair as she basked in the sunshine. She sighed, content.

A weight shifted on her stomach she opened her eyes just enough to see the light glinting off metallic implants as someone’s hand toyed with the zipper of her jeans. “Seven” she teased, chuckling. “Don’t spoil the moment.”

“As you wish”

Kathryn inhaled sharply as the puffs of air Seven’s murmur released so close to her skin made the hairs on her abdomen stand on edge.

It was Seven’s turn to chuckle. Deftly, she slid the pants down the Captain’s hips, following them with her lips.

As she reached Kathryn’s labia, she slipped her tongue between them to reach the redhead’s clitoris.

“Seven” The Captain practically whined.

Seven’s eyes appeared, an impish glint in them. “Yes?”

With her Borg-enhanced hand, she slipped two fingers up inside her lover and stroked gently. The Captain moaned, her head tilting back and her spine arching just a little. Satisfied, Seven returned her mouth to its previous ministrations. She could never decide which she enjoyed more – pleasuring Kathryn or being pleasured by Kathryn.

It was only as she came that Janeway woke up, one hand tangled in Seven’s thick blonde hair as she gasped, disoriented, on the bed.

As Seven laid a cheek on her thigh, one hand still inside her, the red-haired Captain began to register that this was not a dream but real: it was not her sheets she was tangled in, desperate and yearning, but Seven. Seven who she loved and loved her in return. Seven, whose voracious appetite for sex had...She grinned, remembering more than one interesting situation her lover had gotten her into. Slowly, she unwound her hand from the blonde waves cascading across her stomach and rested it on top, stroking. “Morning.” She murmured.

Seven turned to her with an expression identical to the one Janeway had just dreamt. “Good morning” she returned, sliding her hand from inside the Captain and moving up to sprawl naked across the smaller woman, her head on Janeway’s shoulder. Kathryn could barely believe this was the same Seven who would sit primly beside her, back straight as they discussed whatever it was about humanity that happened to be confusing the Borg at that particular moment.

The Captain rubbed a hand across her eyes before sliding it into the waves of Seven’s hair and stroking it gently. She loved Seven’s hair as she had loved her own long locks before she had cut them short to save time in the mornings. She’d kept the braid, though, in a drawer of keepsakes from her former life. Now she played with Seven’s hair – brushing it, braiding it, washing it - as she had her own, once upon a time.

Yawning, she brought her lips close to Seven’s ear, nibbling it softly. “What time is it?”

“0800” Seven informed her lazily. “That tickles.” She wrinkled her nose, burying her face into the Captain’s neck. Kathryn lay back, enjoying the warmth of Seven’s body, wondering vaguely how she had ever survived before this woman entered her life. 

They made it to 0815 before a small voice piped up from across the room. “Ma-ma. My-ya out.”

Kathryn wrapped her arms around Seven and rolled them both sideways. “I’ll go.” She clambered out of the bed to retrieve the small girl. Amaya beamed up at her from the crib, dark curls framing her pale face and bright blue eyes.

“Kaffin!” She reached her arms out to be picked up and Janeway chuckled.

“Come on, then.” She swung the little girl up into a hug and Amaya giggled gleefully as she was carried back to the bed.

There, she snuggled happily between them until both she and Seven drifted back off and Kathryn got up to go to her duty shift.

Chakotay watched angrily as Seven of Nine soundly thrashed the Captain at pool, much to their audience’s delight.

B’Elanna had been more than correct- they were quite the popular couple. Tom and Harry in particular seemed to have trouble tearing their eyes away as the two exchanged a chaste kiss, Seven slipping her hand into Janeway’s as they rejoined the group.

The Commander downed his beer and set his beer down on the counter rather more loudly than he’d intended, deciding he should leave Sandrine’s before he did something stupid.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t noticed a certain Chief Engineer.

B’Elanna slid into the seat beside him as he turned to leave, halting his exit rather effectively. “Bad night?” she questioned cheerfully.

He grunted. “More like a bad year.” He eyed his ex-second in command and sighed, accepting that he wasn’t going anywhere until she’d finished with him. He signalled the barman that he’d like another beer. “What do you want, B’Elanna?”

“Look. I know things haven’t turned out the way you hoped they would, alright?” B’Elanna sipped her own drink. “But don’t you think it’s time to let it go? Why can’t you just be happy for them?”

Chakotay’s visage hardened. “Because it’s disgusting.” He spat. “All this time we’re out here and she spouts all this bull about Starfleet and her beloved Federation. Rules and regulations and how they exist for a reason. Then she throws it all away to adopt this Borg because she used to be human.” He glared at the couple hatefully. “It all became about reintegrating Seven – guiding her, being her friend, helping her to grow. Philosophy, socialisation...Crap, all of it.” He snorted. “And now they’re playing Mommy and breaking every rule in the book.” He took a long pull of his newly-refilled drink. “Who knew the great Kathryn Janeway would end up stuck out here in the Delta Quadrant with a custom designed Borg for a girlfriend.” The smirk on his face was quickly wiped off as B’Elanna’s hand closed around his throat.

“Let me make this infinitely clear for you, Commander.” Her voice was a deadly whisper. “Seven of Nine is ten thousand times the human being you could ever dream of being. If you don’t get over this little personal vendetta of yours, and fast, next time I won’t restrain myself from beating you to a bloody pulp. Or perhaps shoving you out an airlock. Got it?”

Chakotay’s face was turning an interesting purple colour as he nodded, fear quite clear in his eyes.

B’Elanna smiled. “Good.” Letting go, she climbed from the seat beside him and went to rejoin the group around the pool table.

Chakotay concluded he didn’t really need to finish his drink and exited Sandrine’s rubbing his throat.

“You what?!” Tom Paris eyed his girlfriend in horror as she explained the...conversation...she had had with Chakotay.

B’Elanna shrugged. “He deserved it.”

“But...” Tom commented weakly, not really knowing what to say.

B’Elanna half-smiled at him in amusement. “Don’t worry, dear.” She kissed his cheek and picked up the Engineering report she’d been reading before he came in.

He shook his head slowly. “Right.” He muttered under his breath.

“Neewix? Whew Nomi?” Amaya questioned. She was sitting on the bed in Neelixes quarters looking up at the colourful Talaxian as he came her way with a storybook. He had offered to babysit the small girl some time ago so Seven could return to work.

“Naomi? Well, I expect she’s in her quarters.” Neelix sat down on the edge of the bed.

Amaya frowned. “Why?”

“Because she has to study very hard to become a member of Starfleet like your parents.”

Amaya tilted her head sideways, looking confused. “Stu-dy?”

Neelix held up the book he was holding. “Read books. Learn. Like we’re about to do.” He leaned over and tickled the little girl’s side, making her giggle. “Don’t worry, honey. We’ll see Naomi later.”

“Lay-er” Amaya nodded, looking expectantly up at Neelix.

He chuckled. “Ready for a story?” he questioned.

Blue eyes crinkled as Amaya beamed at him.

“Okay.” Neelix pulled her into his lap and opened the book to its first page. “Once upon a time...”

“Oh no, I see,
I spun a web, it's tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I said,

Oh no what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
I turned to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done...”

Seven was drenched when she arrived back at their apartment. Silently, she slipped off her shoes and hung her cardigan on a hanger to dry out. She was moving towards the bathroom when Chakotay came out of the bedroom.

“Where have you been?” He questioned, frowning.

Seven examined him questioningly, her hands rubbing her arms absently as her skin cooled. “With Captain...Admiral Janeway and her sister. As I told you.”

“It’s after midnight. I was worried.” He stepped towards her, kissing her wet forehead gently.

Seven regarded him evenly. He never worried when she came home from the lab this late. What was he getting at? “I lost track of the time. I apologise for worrying you.”

He studied her for a moment before shaking his head. “I’m sorry. You two must have had lots to talk about, of course you lost track of the time.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her towards the bedroom. “You’re soaked!”

“Yes. It’s raining.” Seven pulled back against his arm. “I was actually going to take a bath. Get warm.” She wanted time to think. Away from her husband.

He nodded. “Good idea. I’ll see you when you come to bed.” 

“Yes” Seven confirmed, turning away and closing herself in the bathroom before sighing.  Her mind was full of thoughts and feelings and memories.

Harry was the only one she ever told what happened...

He’d confronted her, the one and only time she’d ever voluntarily gotten drunk. It was a surprise engagement party, a gift from the crew of Voyager. The closest thing to friends or family she could ever remember having. Tired of the whispers of the Captain’s extremely conspicuous absence, she’d finally given in to B’Elanna’s none-too-shy suggestion that this was her last opportunity to get “wasted” before her life as a married woman began and had drunk an entire bottle of champagne by herself, much to the Klingon’s delight.

Needless to say, all had been fine until she’d opened the gift the Captain had sent.

Seven tipped the contents of the tiny envelope onto her palm. A silver chain pooled in her hand, topped with a blue-tinted crystal laid in a simple setting. Intrigued by the colour, she held it up to the light and watched it sparkle. She turned to Chakotay, eyes glowing. “Put it on for me.” For a moment, her heart filled with hope that the note contained her escape. The necklace, a declaration of love, along with a missive...

As Chakotay clasped the necklace around her throat, she read. Harry watched, eyes already sad. Janeway had sent the necklace with him, he’d seen the pain in her eyes as she’d requested he give it to Seven. It occurred to him briefly that he should have done it privately.

Dearest Seven,

There is not a day that goes by that I do not regret what happened that day and miss the time we spent together.

May your life with Chakotay brings you all the happiness the world can offer, and I’m sorry I could not bring myself to be there to wish you well in person.

I cannot look at this necklace without thinking of you. It is a family heirloom - my great-grandmother’s. Wear it well.

Forever yours,

Kathryn.

She looked up at Chakotay, face like chalk, as the world blurred and then went black.

Seven sighed, angrily wiping tears from her cheeks with wet hands. No-one had ever seen that note, save her. It had been clamped to tightly in her hand for Chakotay to get it out, and she’d burned it as soon as they got home.

“I’m so sorry!” Harry ran a nervous hand through his hair. “I should have given it to you privately.”

“You couldn’t have known.” Seven murmured, fingers toying lightly with the pendant around her neck.

They were sitting in the living room of her and Chakotay’s apartment, three days later.

Harry turned to her. “But I do.” He admitted morosely.

She turned to him, puzzled. “What do you mean, Ensign?”

He swallowed hard. “I’ve known for as long as I can think of...and that day in the conference room...” he paused and looked up at her. “What happened?”

After that, it had all come out. The whole sordid affair. Seven had spent a lot of time in the past year wondering why Harry had remained her friend through all of this, knowing what she had done, how easily she had taken on every single human trait she had once (and still) detested...But he had.

Moving the handle with her toe, Seven added more hot water to the bath, which was quickly proceeding towards lukewarm, and slid down so she could dunk her head under the water, washing the evidence of tears from her face.

Sighing, she pulled herself from the bath and wrapped herself in one of the huge fluffy towels on the towel warmer. She would never get used to the comforts that the Alpha Quadrant provided...Or, for that matter, which Chakotay provided. She never would have considered something as luxurious as a towel warmer or a bathtub.

Hanging her wet clothes and towel to dry, she finally went to join her husband in the bedroom, dreading sleep. She feared more than anything else calling out Janeway’s name in a dream, waking Chakotay to the reality of their existence. That his wife loved him as a very dear friend, but not as he loved her, and certainly not as he deserved.   

The next day, walking the streets and surreptitiously observing people (a pastime she still found fascinating), Seven stuck her hands into the pockets of her coat for warmth and came across Phoebe’s business card. Pausing to examine it, she found the studio’s location to be in an artsy district she had only visited on a handful of occasions during her time on Earth. Wondering vaguely what the social norm was for taking someone up on an invitation to stop by, she looked up at the clear blue sky and concluded that it would be a nice walk, and that Phoebe Janeway seemed like an understanding human being, so even if coming over the next day was a faux pas, the younger Janeway sister would at least be nice about it. With that, Seven started up again in a different direction, aiming for Phoebe’s studio.

“O no I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here I am in my little bubble,

Singing, I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Although I never meant to do you harm”

Grimacing, Kathryn Janeway finally accepted that at 1800 hours, it was probably time for a trip to the Mess, as the growls of her stomach had become more or less a steady background noise to her reading. Scooping up her padd, she exited the room with a sigh, hoping beyond hope that whatever experiment Neelix had prepared for dinner would be edible.

Spotting B’Elanna alone in a corner holding a padd of her own, Janeway bee-lined for her Chief Engineer. “Mind if I join you?”

B’Elanna looked up from her reading. “Of course not, Captain” she gestured to the seat across from her.

Janeway sat. “Is it safe?” she questioned with a significant look at the untouched plate in front of the half-Klingon.

B’Elanna’s eyes dropped to her plate briefly before meeting Janeway’s again with a smirk. “To be honest I haven’t tasted it yet.”

The Captain poked hers experimentally and took a small bite. It wasn’t half bad, really. She chewed thoughtfully. “So what were you and Seven chatting about last night, anyway?”

B’Elanna looked vaguely uncomfortable. “Um...nothing really.” B’Elanna prodded her meal with a fork a few times before sighing. She looked up at the Captain hopefully and found her still waiting for a response. “She just wanted some advice.”

“From you?” Janeway blurted out before she could stop herself and blushed slightly. “No offence.”

B’Elanna grinned. “That’s exactly what I said.” She ate a mouthful of broccoli. “Look. I know Seven and I haven’t exactly gotten along in the past. But she’s changed.”

“She’s been through a lot.”

“Yeah.” B’Elanna looked Janeway in the eye. “Do I have your permission to speak honestly?”

The Captain chuckled. “You do.”

B’Elanna took a deep breath “It’s pretty obvious from the way you two look at each other...speak to each other...act around each other...Well, from everything, really, that there’s something between you two. And I don’t think that there’s anyone on board this ship who would deny you the opportunity to be happy, even if it could technically be seen as against regulations.”

Janeway frowned. “I can think of someone.”

“Chakotay?” The Captain nodded. “I think he’ll come around once he sees how happy you two are.”

Janeway raised an eyebrow. “You seem quite sure of the outcome of this situation, Lieutenant.” She commented wryly.

B’Elanna shrugged. “I’m sure of what I see.”

“Well, thank you for your honesty.” The Captain stood and picked up her tray. “And now I’d better get back to work.”

She found, however, that her mind was more on B’Elanna’s words than on her reports, and so after an hour or so of pondering the concept that she could actually be in a relationship with her Astrometrics Officer, she gave up and headed in the direction of Seven of Nine’s quarters to see if they could discuss the issue.

After stopping by her own room for some pyjamas that actually fit, she rang the bell on Seven’s door and waited with slightly more trepidation than usual for it to slide open and admit her.

When it did, though, she was greeted with a scene quite different from the one she’d been expecting. Naomi and Neelix, wearing pyjamas, were sitting in a circle on the floor with Amaya propped in a carrier between them. From the wild gesturing that was occurring on Neelixes part, Janeway guessed he was in the midst of imparting some tale of intrigue. An also-pyjamaed Seven smiled happily at her as she entered. “Are you done work for the evening?”

Janeway nodded. “I lost my focus over dinner.” She held up the pyjamas. “I see I brought the correct attire!” she joked, smiling at Naomi and Neelix.

“Are you here to join us, Captain?” Neelix questioned excitedly.

“I believe I am” Janeway agreed.

“Well then, get changed and take a seat!”

Naomi couldn’t keep the grin off of her face as Seven practically curled up in the Captain’s lap when Janeway joined them on the floor. It grew even larger as the smaller woman simply smiled at up her and then transferred her attention to Neelix as he gave her a fast update on their position in his tale before continuing.

Heart happy, the young half Ktarian listened to the rest of Neelixes story, wishing vaguely that her mother wasn’t on shift and could be here with the rest of her family.

Seven finally ended the evening (even though Neelix hadn’t finished) when Naomi fell asleep and woke herself up by falling over.

“I came here with the intention of talking, you know” Janeway commented, yawning as she climbed into Seven’s bed.

“Mmm?” Seven buried her nose into the back of the Captain’s neck, breathing in the smell of her hair. 

“Mmm hmm” Janeway turned over to face the blonde with a lopsided grin. “And you’re being very distracting.”

Seven attempted a recalcitrant look without much success. “I apologise. You wish to discuss our relationship, I believe?”

“Yes” Janeway reached out and toyed with a piece of cornsilk hair before looking into Seven’s eyes, which were examining her with interest. She sighed. “I guess I’d like to start by asking where you stand?”

“If the last months have taught me anything, it is that there is no point in denying what I feel.” Seven looked over to Amaya’s crib. “I love you. I want to share my life with you. But I realise that in asking that, I am also asking you to take on a lot. Because sharing a life with me is also being a mother to my daughter, now. “

Janeway smiled. “I wouldn’t be lying here with you now if I weren’t prepared to take on that role.” She assured the woman across from her. “What concerns me is that I am the Captain of this ship. If I learned anything from my parents, it is that that comes first – always.” She looked into Seven’s icy blue eyes. “You are the only person who has ever truly challenged my ability to be the Captain first and a friend second. There will be times when I have to see you not as my lover, but as simply a member of my crew. I need to know, now, whether you can deal with that. Because if you can’t, then there’s no way this can work.”

To her surprise, Seven’s face broke into a wide smile.

“I promise, Kathryn.”

Janeway let out the breath she didn’t even know she was holding, and with it, let any walls she had remaining collapse as well. “I love you, Seven of Nine.” She murmured, burying her face in the Borg’s neck.

Seven smiled, wrapping strong arms around the redhead. “As I love you, Kathryn Janeway.” She studied the mass of auburn hair in her arms. “May I kiss you now?” she questioned impishly.

Janeway chuckled. “You’d damn well better! I’ve been waiting years for this.” 

Seven’s lips whispered across her eyelids, cheeks, lips, neck as the Captain was encased in a curtain of blonde hair. ”Me too.” She breathed. “Oh, me too.”

I pictured you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

They had been long months for Kathryn Janeway. Trying months, as she and the rest of the crew waded their way through trials and inquiries into every choice they had ever made. In the end, though, they’d landed on their feet.

And now, looking out over the sea of faces that had turned out to wish her a “happy” life as an Admiral, the only people who stood out were her crew. The crew. The family she had fought for harder than any other. To keep them alive, to get them home.

And she’d gotten them back. Home to a place she no longer fit. Earth didn’t suit her anymore. She belonged to the blackness of space, that abyss with its smattering of stars and planets yet unexplored.

But the indomitable Kathryn Janeway was being dominated. By Starfleet. Grounded. Made into a figurehead.

They might as well kill me now.

Escaping the stage at last, she wove her way through the crowd, kissing cheeks, blushing at compliments, beaming with a pasted-on smile as she managed to procure another glass of champagne.

Across the room she spotted her sister, looking just as out of place as she felt, arms crossed and wary as she stood beside their mother, who winked and grinned as Kathryn made her way towards them.

“Kate!” Phoebe threw a hug around her with great exuberance. “How soon can we get out of here?” she questioned under breath.

“Sooner rather than later, I hope.” The red-head smirked up at her taller sister. “I hate these things.”

Her mother frowned. “It’s your party!” she chided. “A lot of work went into it. You might at least be appreciative.”

Janeway’s eyes flashed. “I’d appreciate it if they’d left my ship intact and flying instead of making it into a damned museum!”

“Shhh.” Her mother hissed. “Stop it, Kathryn. You’ve been made an Admiral, and that’s that.”

Phoebe shrugged. “That doesn’t mean she has to like it.”

“I don’t.” Kathryn groused.

Gretchen Janeway pursed her lips and was about to comment further when Phoebe shushed her. “Commander Chakotay” she murmured under her breath, her hand squeezing her mother’s wrist to get her attention.

Janeway closed her eyes and asked for strength before turning to face her former Commander and the man who was meant to be her friend.

I know i would apologize if i could see your eyes
'Cause when you showed me myself, you know, i became someone else
But i was caught in between all you wish for and all you need

She blanched slightly as she saw Seven behind him, before realising the blonde was looking not at her but at her sister and mother.

“Seven of Nine! We’ve heard so much about you!”

Janeway made a mental decision to murder her sister later on as Phoebe rushed by her to envelope the surprised Borg in a warm hug.

“You have?” The puzzlement was evident in Seven’s tone as she blushed slightly and looked down at the dress it had taken her hours of experimentation to decide upon.

“And you’re Chakotay.” Phoebe rounded on the Commander decidedly less warmly.

“Um, yes.” Chakotay smiled nervously, not sure what to make of the younger Janeway sister.

Phoebe examined him sceptically. “Hm” she commented. “So how soon can we get away again?”

Janeway assumed, correctly, that this was aimed at her. “Preferably before you embarrass me in front of any more of my crew” she said more grouchily than she felt, because really, Phoebe was just being protective of her.

Phoebe grinned. “Sooo...now?” 

The elder Janeway shrugged. “Suits me.” She turned to her mother, who was chatting with someone behind her. “Mom? We’re leaving.” Her mother waved her away. She turned back to her sister. “I think Mom’s staying. Shall we?”

“Yep.” Phoebe laced an arm through Seven’s and shot her a winning smile. “So. You coming?”

Seven’s gaze darted quickly between the Janeway sisters and Chakotay before she gave a slow nod. “I am.” She agreed. She looked over at her husband. “Will you join us, Chakotay?”

The man in question looked more-than-slightly miffed at his wife’s easy abandonment of him. “No. Thank you.” He threaded his way through the crowd towards the stage without saying good-bye.

Phoebe shot her elder sister a smile before turning and guiding Seven away through the crowd. Kathryn sighed, unsure whether to be exasperated or thankful for her sibling’s tactics before downing her glass of champagne and following her across the room. “So where are we going, then?” she questioned as they exited into a quiet hallway.

Her dark-haired sister shrugged. “Hadn’t gotten that far.”

“There’s a nice little bar around the corner.” Seven suggested.

“But you don’t drink.” Janeway pointed out before she could stop herself.

Seven’s optical implant rose slightly. “It’s a café-bar, really. But there have been some changes made to my physiology since we last spoke, Cap...Admiral.”

Janeway grimaced. “Please just call me Kathryn. Admiral Janeway is still an older woman I didn’t really get along with in my mind.”

“Alright, Kathryn.”

It gave Janeway shivers to hear her first name roll off Seven’s tongue, and she didn’t realise she was gazing at the younger woman until Phoebe cleared her throat. “Shall we?” she chastised, a knowing smile not unlike her older sister’s appearing her face.

Janeway nodded. “So what have you been up to?” she questioned the blonde awkwardly, wishing for the easy nature their interactions had once taken.

Seven’s hands snuck behind her as they walked to link neatly at the small of her back. “I expect you are aware that I am working for Starfleet.”

“I am.” They followed Phoebe as she got them a table and a server led them to it.

“I do quite a lot of work for Deep Space Nine, though I could do more if I was on the station.” She commented almost wistfully.

“So why don’t you?”

“Chakotay doesn’t want to live on a space station, and I feel I owe it to him to stay. Otherwise I would have taken a position on board a vessel long ago.” Seven admitted.

“As would I, had they not made me an admiral.”

Phoebe snorted. “I sooo did not get that gene.” She chuckled.

Janeway grinned in agreement.

Seven examined the younger Janeway curiously. “What do you do?”

“I paint. Abstracts, mostly.”

Seven’s eyes brightened at this concept. “I would enjoy seeing some of your work. Do you live in Indiana?”

Phoebe shook her head. “Only to visit. My gallery is here.” She winked at the blonde. “You should see the farm though, it’s gorgeous in the fall.”

Seven’s gaze strayed to Kathryn for a moment. “I’ve seen pictures.”

“Get Kate to take you. She’s spending tons of time down there at the moment.” She looked over at her older sister, eyes twinkling. “Mum would love to introduce you to some home cooking.”

Janeway found herself stuck between laughing and glaring at her younger sibling. While the image of her mother ‘taking Seven under her wing’ was an entertaining one, her sister was trying just a little too hard to reconcile the two of them. However, to her surprise, Seven looked pleased and agreed. “I’d like that.”

Luckily, her astonishment was covered by the arrival of their server. While the other two ordered wine, she decided to stick to coffee given the flutes of champagne she’d managed to down at the party.

When the steaming press arrived, she inhaled gratefully. “Mmm. Good coffee is something I will always appreciate after the Delta Quadrant”

“That roast is one of my favourites.” Seven informed her as she poured a cup of the aromatic substance.

“Wine, coffee – what else have you taken up that I should know about?” Janeway demanded.

Seven’s lips twitched upwards. “I don’t drink it...I just...like the way it smells.”

She would never say it, but on bad days she would sit in the little café with a cup of the dark liquid in front of her, just smelling it and recalling memories of better times. Of the hours she and the woman sitting beside her now would spend chatting about one topic or another and all the while, Janeway would be sip, sip, sipping away at her coffee.

They talked a long time, the three of them, and both Janeway and Seven were surprised to find out how easy it was to slip back into their established patterns of joking and banter.

When they left, Janeway promised to send a message next time she left for Indiana so Seven could come along if she wished to.

Seven smiled a dazzling smile and said she looked forward to it, and to her great surprise, she even meant it.

Phoebe looked on and was pleased with her handiwork before kissing Seven’s cheek and pressing a business card into her hand with an invitation of “Come anytime you like.”

And then they dashed their separate directions through the downpour that had started while they’d been chatting.

 Will you help me to understand
'Cause i been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you're not even sure what it's for
Any more than me